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Sunday, June 18, 2006

Jack and Lola -10 000 $

One day, while Lola was cleaning under the bed, she found a small box. Curious, she opened it and found 3 eggs and 10,000 dollars. A little bit suspicious, she confronted her husband of twenty years about it.

"Oh, that," Jack said. "Every time I cheated on you, I put an egg in this box." Sue was a bit unhappy about this, but figured that 3 affairs over twenty years wasn't so bad.

"But what about the 10,000 dollars?"

"Every time I got a dozen, I sold them."

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Bob and Jack-Nobel prize

Bob looks out the window & sees Jack standing out in his field. He tells his wife Lola, that he is really worried about Jack. The next day he looks out his window and sees Jack still standing out in his field. He says Lola, Jack has lost his mind and I need to go help him! He walks over to Jack, and says "what the hell are you doing Jack". Jack says "I'm trying to win the Nobel Prize". Bob says "how do you plan to do that". Jack says "I saw a show on TV and it said if you wanted to win the Nobel Prize that I had to out-standing- in my field".

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Jack-finding Jesus

Jack, drunk as usual, stumbles into a baptistmal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river. He walked down into the water an stood next to the preacher.

The minister turns and notices drunken Jack and says, "Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?"

Jack replies, "Yesh, Your Honor, I sure am!"

Then minister dunks Jack under the water and pulls him right back up.” Have you found Jesus?" he asked.

"Nooo, Your Highness, I sure didnt!" Jack said. Then preacher dunks him under for a little bit longer, brings him up and says, "Now, brother, have you found Jesus?"

Jack shouted "Noooo, Your Majesty, I sure didnt!"

Disgusted, preacher holds Jack under for at least 45 seconds this time, brings him out of the water and says in a harsh tone, "My good man, have you found Jesus YET?"

Jack wipes his eyes and says to the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Jack -vacation

Jack and Bob were talking one afternoon, and Jack tells Bob, "You know, I think I'm ready for a little vacation. But this year I want to do something different.

The last few years, I took your suggestions about where to go. Three years ago you said I should go to Hawaii, an' I did an' Lola got pregnant.

The next year you said to go to the Bahamas. Lola got pregnant again. And last year you told me to go to Tahiti. Sure enough, Lola got
pregnant again.

This year I want to go someplace cheaper so I can bring her with me!"

Monday, June 12, 2006

Death notice

Lola went to the local newspaper and said she wanted to put in the Obituary Column that Jack died. They told her it would be $1.00 per word. She said, "Here's $2.00 - put in there that JACK DIED. They said, Lola, surely you want more than that." She said, Mais, no, just Jack died. The editor said, "Well, you're a little upset. Bring yourself back tomorrow and you will probably think of something else. She came back the next day, and said, "Yeh, I tought of something else, "HOUSE FOR SALE".

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